“Do you remember the scene in the film “Dead Poets Society” where Robin William’s character got up on his desk and shouted “Carpe diem! Seize the day!”? Didn’t that movie suck royal ass?”
-by MG
Jul
01
2009
01
2009
On Fame
“With all these celebrities dropping like flies, you should meditate on the following truth: ‘Thank god you have no discernible talents. It’s better to be mediocre and alive then to be famous and dead.’”
-by MG
Jun
30
2009
30
2009
On Loss
“You are distraught over the untimely demise of a popular music legend, but in your heart of hearts you know that Little Timmy Two Toots’ music will live on forever. RIP Timmy!”
-by MG
Jun
26
2009
26
2009
On New Beginnings
“There is a new beginning for you around every corner, thanks to your lack of short term memory.”
-by MG
Jun
25
2009
25
2009
On Turning Over a New Leaf
“You are turning over a new leaf in your life, and you have discovered just what the underside of a new leaf looks like, and you are not impressed.”
-by MG
Jun
24
2009
24
2009
On Neglect
“Don’t neglect the things you love. The things you love will prune up and die without your love and attention. For example, I love grapes. Nothing ever good came from old grapes. I mean, besides wine and raisins.”
-by MG
Jun
03
2009
03
2009
On Negative Bonds
“You cut negative bonds of attachment to despair, depression, and desperation. You untie the knots and the ‘nots.’ You recall the genius of the hilarious comedian Don Knotts. You start whistling the theme to the ‘Andy Griffith Show.’ You curse me for allowing that theme to get stuck in your head. The negative bonds are retied.”
-by MG
Jun
02
2009
02
2009
On Spirit
“You let your Spirit (Your Higher Self, God, Your Spirit Guides, The One, The Force, Infinite Source) take responsibility for any stupid sh#t you do today.”
-by MG
May
28
2009
28
2009
On Exercise
“You honor yourself by exercising your physical body and by stretching your mind. And you thought that you’d find no use for that taffy pulling machine you bought during a late night QVC binge.”
-by MG
May
07
2009
07
2009
On Weight Loss
“Every physical movement that you make burns the extra fat in your body and helps you to maintain your ideal body weight. Every time you lift a Cinnabon and stuff it in your pie hole you are actually burning fat by lifting and chewing. It all adds up!”
- by MG
